A Perspective on Love: Let me introduce you to Spence Gourley

I recently was able to make Spence a friend on Facebook, son of one of my husband's cousins - a long time friend and precious family. But we moved away before I got to know Spence very well.  At a family event I was introduced to his ability to sketch and asked him to consider being a member of a gallery of Artists that I was considering blogging about.  He said he would consider and when I had an opportunity to make him a friend I was glad to make the connection. But as a result, I have been able to be blessed by Spence's wonderful approach to being a young Christian man.  From his facebook comments and simple testimonies of faith, it quickly became appearant that he listens to the voice of God, and seeks his will. 
As a result, I wanted to share occasionally this young man's outlook, and how God speaks to his heart.

This blog: a perspective on -  LOVE, by Spence Gourley
Hello all, once again. It is a lot sooner than I expected to have another thing up. But God spoke and I listened. He wants me to explain what He has taught me about love. Like always I have no set plan or expectations for this. If I did then there would be no room for the flawless mind and organization of God. He knows love better than any.

Love is explained to us in 1 Corinthians 13.  So, I will start there, it seems like the right thing to do.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-13

“⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
⁸ Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part. ¹⁰ But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. ¹² For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
¹³ And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

I have read this scripture many times and my guess is that you have too.  Wanting to know what true love is. How we know when we find that special someone, how we should feel towards our family and friends, how we should treat our enemies.  I always got caught up in what it should feel like; how I should act to truly love someone.  But I thought about it more and more and I prayed to know what true love is.  Then it hit me right between the eyes! You know that feeling when you figure something out and when you do you could kick yourself because the answer was so obvious? Maybe I’m just way behind the rest of the world but it doesn’t seem like God was describing an emotion here. He was describing Himself.  All of these facts are a perfect match to our Savior and Creator. With this new realization in my life I have come to many new conclusions.

Relationships are something that we try to preserve by our own power. That is why they come and go. We are finite beings so we could never create anything infinite no matter how hard we try. If something has a beginning then it is inevitable that it will have an end.  The only way we can have a hope that something will last forever is to trust the promise that God made when He said, “Love never fails.” He is Love. He will never fail.

I’m just going to get to the meat, or the bones. Whichever. Anyway, we all wonder how we will know when we meet that special someone we will spend the rest of our lives with.  When we meet that someone and we fall in love and the scriptures say it will never fail. That is so incredible and encouraging.  But the only way we as finite beings have any hope of something infinite is to trust God, the only infinite being in existence.  God is not seen. I am thankful for this. If I saw God my eyeballs would probably shoot out the back of my head. I digress. But God is Love. If two people want to fall in love then they have to share that bond that one thing in common. God is the only source of unfailing love because He is the only thing that is unfailing and flawless.  We get caught up in trying to make something work by our power. We could do it but it would fall and fail with time. Anything that operates on time will be destroyed by time.  If we want to be fall in true Love we must be connected by God.  My dad once said, “If you go looking for love you will find something and it will fail. But if you let it find you it will be real.” This is so true. When we were sinners had no hope of survival God found us in the darkness and called out to us.  It was our choice to respond back and to accept His eternal love or to leave it. It must be the same for any other love in our life because God is never changing.

We have outward appearance and beauty to attract us to one another.  We could base our relationship off of this alone if we wanted but that would be relying on things we see.  The true beauty that binds two people is deep within.  It is my belief that God makes people in pairs. He doesn’t make them at the same “time.” But “time” doesn’t matter to God. He sees the big picture. He made us in His image (Genesis 1:27).  He is infinite so He has plenty of things about Himself to make individual unique people. At the same time we all come from the same source so there is someone that is a perfect match for each and everyone of us! This is where unfailing love kicks in. We have to search deep down within someone to find that part of God that matches up with our own part of God.  When those two meet they are inseparable because they are one. They are Love with is God. Be encouraged.  Don’t get discouraged when you haven’t found that special someone. But instead look for God in everyone then you will find a part of him or her that will bind you forever.  God is Love and He will never fail.

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This is a post from is facebook page this month:"Dear Future Wife,
 You cannot bring me happiness. I will not wait on you to do something you can't. My joy rests in Jesus. I don't even know for sure if you exist. The only thing that is certain is that I'm a sinner who deserves hell, but I've been saved by grace. Jesus will always be my happiness and joy. When I do meet you though I will love you all the days of my life. You will be a cherished blessing and gift from The Most High."Spence's prayer desire for us "is to just stay patient with the lost and focused on the Savior."

Lord, I am in agreement with Spence on this kind of love to have with our unsaved friends and family. You are willing to be patient and lead a lost soul along slowly until they see You Love them.  And we must learn to stay focused on you our Savoir.  If our eyes are on the things of life they overwhelm us.  Thank you for being the very definition of Love, and for helping Spence share it with us so well. Amen

A True Picture

My personal prayer garden has to include flowers. But I am not entirely sure that the actual Garden Of Gethsemane had flowers except when the Olive Trees bloomed.  I have often searched for information that gave a more realistic look at what the garden where Jesus prayed may have looked like.  This week I finally found information that gave me a more truthful look.  I have come to realize that Jesus may have gone there more for the symbolism than for the beauty of the garden, but I am sure whether a grove of olive trees looks less than "beautiful" to me, it was a place that Jesus loved to go. Today, gnarly semi-dwarfed, olive trees that are possibly hundreds of years old are sparcely scattered, and gravel like paths segregate them into loneliness on a bland beige hillside.  Not what it is believed to have been like when Jesus walked and prayed there.  In the day of King Herod, beautiful architecture and gardens and modern living were key to his staying in favor with Rome.  He hob-knobbed with the important emmisaries of his day. He wanted them to have a beautiful city to visit.
The Garden of Gethsemane was believed to be a gorgeous plush hillside, covered in productive olive trees and was "the view" from the Lion's Gate of the Temple. David, the former King of Israel made the road up to the summit of the Mt of Olives famous, because it is the direction in which he fled when he was pursued by his son Absolom, who wanted David's throne and sought to take it by force. So it was historical, and important to the people for hundreds of years. As you cross the brook Kidron, one of the first things you pass , as you begin to climb the Mt. of Olives, is the Garden of Gethsemane. Prime "Real Estate," in its time.  And it was a place where at the foot of the mount, on a busy thorough fare, a producer of Olive Oil, (the business to have in Jesus' day) had a successful grove of olive trees where the wine press could be found. More than likely, the owner pressed oil, and carried it to the market in Jerusalem on a daily basis for sale, as long as the olives were ripe for pressing.  The remainder of the year, this place was where the trees were tended to produce the most fruit.  It was probably leafless in the winter?  I am not sure, I should check to see if olive trees lose their leaves.  But were the winter birds seeking seed that fell to the ground during the harvest?  I can imagine that in the spring the flowering trees drew bees and sent a wafting sweetness across the countryside. It was a changing, growing, seasonal garden, and I will begin to look at it differenly, as I imagine my Lord praying there.  I am already excited. Because I already have seen what a great place it was, and I am delighted to grow in the Lord as he shares with me why He loved it so.

A place that was important to you Lord, is important to me.  I am realizing that Places were significant to you. Whether places in time, or places on earth, or a place in the universe....Places have significance to you.  Lord, teach me more about the places that have meaning to you, but also give me a truthful mental picture of each one. Help me share your love of each and every place. AMEN

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

My sister had invited me to come meet her new love. I can't remember if they were married yet, but I think they were.  Mom had done the unthinkable, and had sent my sister packing from home.  Mama couldn't accept her free spirit, and because of that we hadn't seen her for several months. My husband had become concerned about her and had begun searching for her earlier, and discovered someone driving her little red doodle bug without her in it. His imagination went to the worst of our fears and he followed the person driving all over Charlotte until he simply couldn't any more. This began a series of events that led to us finding her, and inviting her over for spagetti dinner to our house with a friend.  She looked surprisingly good, had found a good job, and was well on her way to getting settled into an apartment.  She never told us of how scared she was at night of the noises in and around that new apartment, or how dramatic the elements of her new life were playing out to a scenario of exploitation by the people around her.  She just kept believing that there was good in the world, and hiding her hurt, and pretending things were great.  Well they weren't, but there was a good guy on the horizon.  Her knight in shining armor, handsome as any fairy tale prince could possibly be, and ready to defend her against the evils of this world. And he did.
I will never forget the first time I saw his face. The two of them had escaped to Florida to live for a while, and like many young men, this dashing X Navy shipman, drank too much.  A lonely Florida apartment in Cocoa Beach proved to be way too lonely for my sister, and the dynamics of their new relationship, with the love of her life spending too much time with his drink, almost ruined everything. He had saved her, but now he was not saving himself.
My sister never spoke much of the details of that time, but I am sure she wondered how she ended up getting out of the fire but into the frying pan, and decided she had enough to come back home.  But our brave knight who had rescued her, realized his prize was worthy of love, and he returned with her to Charlotte to become her forever love. Parting their youthful mistakes, they found a nice little place to live and she invited me over to meet him.  I had no idea what he looked like, and my expectations were of someone similiar to the boys she had gone biking with in earlier years.
She was taking a bath when I arrived early, her familiar Tigress Cologne wafting through the air.  I was first amused that her kitten was also taking a bath. Whose cat likes a bath? In fact I was so amazed I almost forgot about meeting her special man. As I turned from the room to go out to the living room to wait while she dressed, I faced a huge poster on the hall wall, that I had completely missed coming down the hall.  On it were three amazingly handsome men, and I jested, "you better take take this poster down before he gets here. He is liable to be jealous of you having giant pictures of handsome men hanging all out in the open. Ha ha."  "He's one of them," she called back. " "Well I am sure he is handsome, but don't you think he might like a picture of him hanging instead."  "It is him. Well one of them is. He and a couple of buddies had that made." I suddenly became scared to meet him. These men needed to be in a magazine somewhere. That poster would have sold a million copies too. Wow. Wow was all I could think.
Then I realized I couldn't imagine which one he was. "Which one?"  Of course he was the best of the three. I suddenly was afraid I would act like a blooming idiot in front of my sister's new man. I was star struck. "He won't look so good when he gets home from work, he will be covered in concrete." She was so kind to not be smug and take advantage of the obvious amazement in my voice.  Not that she didn't merit such a man, but we both knew he looked like a movie star. Instead she was excited for me to meet him, because she truly loved him.
"Where does work?" "He is on the construction crew that is building the nuclear plant." "Nuclear plant?" "Yeah, you know, to make electricity."  Yeah, I knew what a nuclear plant was, but I had been in such a small world being pregnant with three babies one right after the other, that I didn't even know they were building a nuclear power plant. Until this day, every time a see a macho poster of construction workers, I think of how my new brother in law was on the best one I ever saw.

Now he is gone to be with Jesus, and all I can think of is how that wasn't so long ago...
Even though he half adopted my kids and treated them as his own, and years of his big heartedness have past, I can only see it as yesterday. He always spoiled my children so badly, that I had to discipline them for a week after they got home when they went to visit in the summer. I sometimes couldn't get them back once he took them off to wonderland. Their summers were full of delights that no one else in the world would have allowed.  My sister's hilarity allowed her husband to get in the middle of the wildest of kid friendly plans. Food fights, with a hundred dollar's worth of food.  Fireworks over the fishing pond, enough to make the pros jealous. Fishing, swimming, and gaming into the deep of the night and early morning.  Costumes, and decorations, and jobs.  He gave them jobs and paid them money to work! And then he let them spend it! How could parents compete with all that?
Unique in this world, beyond description, it leaves a huge hole in time and space to have him slip into the realm beyond.  But all I can say is look out Heaven, here he comes!  I wonder if they are having so much fun!!!! Oh God, we will miss him down here!!!!!!!!!!
Love always, Good Bye, until we meet again beloved friend.

"God my sister needs you today. Please be near her......I have no words.  All I can think of is the first time I saw his face. It was only yesterday.......OH LORD, help us to live with out him."

To my readers. please forgive my typos etc. I can't read this through my tears....

Blessings

My key board is a blessing to me. Is it merely a coincidence that there are a lot of 2's involved in playing it?

A Bible word that puzzled me as a child was the word Blessing, or Blessed.  People always pronounced it Bless - ed. To so many, the blessings of God revolve around physical and financial needs being met, but after closer examination, I found it not to be so true with God.  Instead,  blessings were assurances that what one has done or expects to do with life is going to be successful in some way. For example, the well known Beattitude: Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.  Not a reward, but a result.  A lot of God's words of instruction are about a result or a consequence of the initial action.  Blessing is just such a word describing the result of many actions of men in the history of the Bible.

I have studied the numbers in the Bible for years.  Some time in my early teens, the number 7 became my favorite.  I didn't know at the time that all the Bible numbers came with a significant meaning. And in the many years since, I had not come across anything that made the meaning of the number "2" clear to me.  I had been told by a wise educator that 2 meant Blessing, but I couldn't quite make the connection. But lately, God is emphasizing that truth every way I turn.

Let us begin with the fact that he gave us two hands and two feet.  We are a species which is primarily bipedal.  There are very few species that are able to function, using thier hands to accomplish so much with such dexterity. The use of our hands can be an element of our becoming successful.  But the scriptures make specific note of our hands, when it mentions in several locations, that when we worship and pray, the result of being blessed in our souls is that we lift our hands in praise.  It doesn't say how high, but it is a natural thing for many people.  You almost want to reach to Heaven as if you are accepting God's hug.  I am not a hand lifter for the most part, but I have been blessed sometimes by others who were.

In Noah's ark were built accommadations for all the animals to be brought in two by two.  In this case the blessing would be when these two of any species saved had opportunity to reproduce and thereby the world would be blessed.  Even the fact that it takes two humans to make increase in the human population, alludes to the blessing of family, increase and continued existance of our own species. It is also true that God wished that marriage would be something he considered worth blessing. This concept is not limited to marriage, however.  Scripture says for example that where two or more are gathered in prayer, He is in the midst of them.  It also says that where two are agreed, then there can be expectation of an answer being forthcoming.  There are many more illustrations of relationship pairings when God blessed the love that kept those relationships strong, healthy, and blessed.  David and Jonathan come to mind.

In Old Testament tradition, we read of fathers who "blessed" an oldest son. This was a unique twosome relational blessing that holds pictures of the realationship between God the Father, and God the Son - Christ.  There is a book that could be written to expound that particular example, but it is the one example that holds the most value to us. It is a picture of how God wants to bless us with His own belongings. The things he made with his Proverbial hands. God created heaven and earth with a specific  mental picture in mind of what He intended to do with this earth.  It was prepared for us. He owns it all, but gifts us with anything on this earth we can figure out how to use.  And as with the story of the prodigal son, he doesn't dictate whether we use it wisely or unwisely.  If we destroy our gifts, He still accepts us because it is the relationship which he holds dear above the material value of what He has given us. The one on one relationship, between just two beings, is the spiritual law that God indowed with blessing. 

The exact opposite is thereby true.  The commandment of "Thou shalt have no other gods before me" is an extention of the Law of Twos.  If we put other things or "Gods" before Jaweh, Jehovah God = the one true God, then the relationship is watered down. The blessings are dissolved.  One God plus one child of God equals blessing.  The uniqueness of it being a supernatural pairing, is that it can be unique to every Child of God. All Christians can be blessed by a one on one relationship with God, as if they were the only Child on earth. Unlike earthly fathers whose resources are limited, there is no such thing with God. God wants you to be assured that it is the relationship with you, a singular person, that is His objective. This means you are highly prized in His eyes. If that doesn't bless you, then you haven't met my God - the one true God.

On the second day of creation, God divided something by two, for the earth's greater good. I challenge readers to look it up.  It involves H2O and what's between it.  What a huge blessing for our future environment. Without this first 2 on the second day, we could not have lived on this earth. This is called the first mention. Even the days of the week involve God's blessing. I can really take this to depths----the evening and the morning were the first day. but it also began day 2.

Next time you are blessed, think about the number two, and ask God if there is a definite reference to the "2" in your situation. Think, "Did this success, or feeling of accomplishment involve developing a realtionship of some sort?  Was it a gift from someone or God himself?"   Can you see the number two in any aspect of your blessing? 

Ever wonder if your blessing is a result of God's blessing, or has Satan drawn you into a false hope? Check out the relationships you have formed. Not the blessings you received.  If the relationships are possessive, or demanding, or taking from you rather than adding to you, then you are probably not within the unwritten  Law of Two.

The next time you feel blessed, or are seeking God's hand on an endeavor, think about the number two. See if it applies to something God is telling you.  Don't manipulate your numbers, but ask God if He has a two that will help you see His path.  Don't be surprised if He shows you one.

Lord, not everyone will be blessed by knowing something about the laws you put in place reguarding  the numbers. Maybe someone who loves mathematics will see automatically how, without the laws of God in place, many things would not exist.  Maybe someone will see that without harnessing and learning more about numbers, we would not be blessed with many of our modern conveniences, including, for all we Geeks, the computer.  I thank you for these things Lord. The many blessings on our modern lives -- Even our binomal language that makes computers possible.  Without a computer, I couldn't write this blog.  I thank you for sharing the value of the number two with me. And for all the blessings in my life.  Even comunication is an extention of first one person speaking to at least one person. And in this case, the blessing of prayer, is all about my being able to talk to you. And knowing that you hear me. Therefore it involves two. Praise your name. You are the Alpha and Omega...loving that it is another two...LOL Jesus! Amen

Frozen Until....

I have a heavy heart, this week. There are several reasons, but mostly that close friends and family are struggling with the realities of life and death. Only God can ultimately control whether life on this earth will continue, and it is important to hope for life, choose life, live like you have chosen life.  There is no wrong in living even while facing death. To the very end.  As long I guess as the choice doesn't leave those who supported your choices in a state of confusion and bitterness, which is the reasonable result of continuing to believe in life.  When God says, "No, they will continue to live, but with me, in their eternal home," it feels like he has said no to life itself. When my mother passed into heaven about a year ago, I couldn't cry. She was where she longed to be, with family who had gone on, and with Jesus. Mama was whole for the first time in her life, since she was born with only one leg.  All our lives, we had talked about when Mama went to heaven she would be able to run.  Although she never let not having a leg take her down a pity path, we always thought that this would be a time of rejoicing for her.  As so many of our loved ones have passed in recent years to into the arms of Jesus, I have been saddened to lose their physical presence, but glad to know they were "in a better place."

When my granddaughter Brynley died as a stillborn, full term baby, I lived for a couple of years in a place that is difficult to explain.  I could not get my mind around any form of satisfaction that she was with Jesus.  It seemed as if she didn't belong in Heaven. We never even had an opportunity to enjoy her sweet life on earth, to see her smile, or hear her laugh. I don't know what I expected the void of not having those expectations realized to  have on my emotions, my mental apect of the reality of death, the attitude I had always held about life and death....but it was nothing like I had ever experienced before.  I was overwhelmed, It was at least two years before I could even find any form of relief by trying to imagine her in heaven.  NO mental exercise I could come up with gave me a sense of relief. No scripture, no poem, no devotion, no blog, no card, no outside influence on this earth allowed me to see her happily enjoying heaven, and even if it had, my daughter and I felt cheated.  History actually changed in my mind.  I suddenely looked differently even at history.  So many mothers had lost thier little ones at or near birth, that there were certainly great crowds of people in heaven who never even experienced the joys and pains of earth. They were of course blessed, but those left behind without enjoying their presence were denied the gift of their life.  I had never experienced the hole that left in time.  And there is nothing except the experience that can give a perspective on just how awful that feels.
I had totally hoped to never feel that helpless again.  But the reality is, that there will be times when the impact on our emotions of loss, and unfulfilled expectations will grip us more tightly than we can emotionally receive.  For everyone the response will be different, but I am finding that for me, it shuts some part of me down.  Shutting down until the Lord gives me His remedy for the pain, is the only way I can cope.  And here I am again.  Someone I love is dying and all I can do is shut down.  When Brynley died and mother died I couldn't cry. The stress involved with mother's passing, and the shock involved with Brynley's passing left me empty.  But thankfully, these days I can at least cry. But I am failing miserably at being an support for anyone else.  I don't have it in me. And God is not giving it to me. All I can do is shut down, hide and protect my emotional self.  I don't know what it will mean for my emotional future, but I do know that eventually, God gave me the vision, the enlightenment that healed the pain after about two years, when it was my granddaughter who died.
So knowing that God knows how we feel, I am only able to pray that God will be there in a very special way for those who need him in these hours of near death. I simply don't know how, to be His tool on earth, because I fully believe there is no person on earth that can lessen that empty unimaginable crush of loss. God is the only one who knows our spirit well enough to provide the kind of spiritual medication that heals the wounds of that kind of reality. There are people all over the world today who need God in that kind of special way, and for some reason He choses to wait a while to reveal Himself as the healer.
When his dear friend Lazarus was dying, Lazarus' family begged Jesus to come before he died. They fully believed that if Jesus would just come, He could heal him. Jesus had purpose in not going when they wanted him to.  We don't know if Jesus had experienced the loss of someone close at this point, although the absense of his father indicates that he may have died by this time in Jesus' life. Had Jesus known the special kind of pain that losing someone close could bring humans.  With his unique aspect on Heaven, having known what living with the Father on a level we humans can only get after death, sending his friend home to the Father was a gift he might give him. Without Lazarus' death we might never have known if Jesus human side knew the pain we feel. I personally am glad to read that Jesus cried.  What intensity of emotions did Jesus feel.  He allowed his friend to die. Knowing how it hurt Mary and Martha. Knowing how his disciples and close followers would judge him for not coming. Feeling the pain humans feel in the death of a loved one, we know he knew he had power over death, and he let it happen.
Jesus wanted to demonstrate that power. he knew he had to demonstrate that power.  But in order to demonstrate the power over death, death had to occur. He also wanted to foreshaddow his own death, and the expected end to that event.  He was giving hope to those who loved him that he might have power even in his own death.  Now, there are still two facts that remain...eventually, Lazarus died and Jesus was not there to resurrect him.  And, even though Jesus was resurrected himself, he revealed himself in his resurrected form, but made a big deal of his being more ready to go to his Father.  His heart was already in his heavenly home.  He went ahead saying, " I go to prepare a place for YOU."

I don't feel like Jesus right now. I don't have the emotions that go with knowing a place has been prepared for those nearest death who must depend on Jesus's power over death, and promise of a better place. But having faith is not living out of my emotions.  But having faith doesn't releive my emotions, and I don't think Jesus wanted us to believe it would. Because even he cried. He could have gone to Lazarus and been there and allowed him to die. We often see in the Biblical accounts that Jesus followers had not taken their faith yet to the point of understanding that it did not require his physical presense to make miracles happen.  Mary who knew how he told the story of the soldier who had faith to say, "Lord, if you just say it, it will be done."  He commended this man for his faith. It wasn't about faith for Mary. She didn't want his miracle without his presense. Her emotions needed him to be there.  But he didn't go.  Why?  Was Jesus physically overwhelmed? Did he experience what I experience when intense emotions overcome me? I think he had to have known this kind of human pain, at least once. When he was dying, he knew how his mother felt, how his disciples would shut down emotionally, until he brought them the healing they would need. Until he removed the gripping sorrow that sent them to a place of not knowing what to do or how to live; until he revealed his presense and power would still be available in the Glorious third person of the Godhead. He would never leave them, but would remain constantly available in His Spirit, by indwelling them.
In spite of his constant presense, God knows when we are disabled by our physical or emotional pain.  Sometimes he takes it away, but often he does not.  He did not for himself, but he does set limits. In time, he brings an end to it, interjecting something greater than when and where we are while in our pain.  But one of the values of death is that it is the end of pain we cannot bear.  The blessed end.
No more tears, no pain, no more fear of death, no more canes, or prosthetics, or any other sting of ... anything that brings the need for death as the exclusive remedy.

Lord, my emotions are like the weather this week. From cloudy to sunny to cloudy to sunny and the same again and again. I wait on you.  I lean on you. I have no resource but you.  Once again I am can only say...."Only to they cross I cling."
Be there Lord for those who need you today.

AMEN