The Gospel in a Nutshell

When the Holy Spirit began to tug at my heart to find out about Jesus' role in my eternal future, I was about 8 or 9 years old.  I don't know if I was more curious than some or was just displaying my analytic side that young, but I dissected every little detail about "getting saved."  It took me months, maybe a year, to "understand" how to be saved.  First of all, no one said as Jesus did: "You must be born again." My pastor, Sunday School teacher, and the preachers Mom listened to on the radio, all used the "saved" word.  As I have said on here before. "Saved from what?" I know the answer is Sin, and I knew it then. And I told My Heavenly Father that I did everything I knew how to not sin. It hurt my feelings terribly when he showed me that I couldn't avoid being a sinner. See, I thought like everyone else to be saved from sin meant you stopped doing sin.
Why if I couldn't stop on my own didn't God just help me stop and get it over with? He was my best friend after all. I was not stopping Him, and in fact I really did want to be saved from Sin. So why doesn't he just save me from my sin?
       I would pray about something and God would patiently answer my prayer. I never felt so close to Him, afraid of Him, confused by Him, and down right hurt by Him.  As I have also said before, I felt rejected by Him. Yet, He wouldn't give up on me. Dense as I was, I just couldn't get it that being saved was not an "understanding it" thing.  NOT an in my head, figure it out and start doing the right thing somehow, kind of thing. Problem was, I had gotten past the age when I just trusted God.  You know  - with the childlike faith.  I was old enough to have lost that. Now, I wanted more from God. I thought that it would be wise to understand things before I act on them. 
     Solomon was wise they say. I read all the scriptures about how to be wise I could. Some of them didn't make any sense, but I tried to understand them so I could please God.  I prayed for wisdom, just like Solomon.  It seemed to me that this would do the trick.  That was what the Holy Spirit wanted, for me to seek wisdom, I thought. I was old enough now that I knew the little voice was the Holy Spirit, and I suddenly realized that I didn't hear it speaking any more.  I heard preachers, and teachers, and my Bible, all saying I had to get saved, but the Spirit was quiet. Did I get too big to hear Him too?  I wanted an answer on how to get saved.  But no answer. There was nothing in all those verses about being wise that answered my question either.
         I had already found the verse that said, Ask and it shall be given you.  But guess what that verse goes on to say. It says: Seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you. Luke 11:9-13 goes on to say that the Heavenly Father gives good gifts, and what he gives is the Holy Spirit. Ok, I thought I already had the Holy Spirit. That voice, wasn't it he Holy Spirit? But I asked over and over again anyway..Lord, Please help me understand why I am not saved. I am asking you to help me be saved. Ok. I asked. Why am I not saved? I am knocking on your door begging you to save me... Well, it was a lot of years ago and I don't exactly remember what I said. But I do remember the exhaustion of trying to figure it out. I was seeking. I kept on seeking. Looking in every verse I could find. When will the seeking be over????

What I have to say about all those months of trying to figure it out is - they were the best months I ever spent in my whole life!  They are my Treasure chest.  Oh, I put my children, their mates, grandchildren and my husband in the best gifts other than my "Salvation" category. But nothing comes close in the treasure category to how the Lord led me to my new birth into his eternal family.
He gently led me to the scriptures one by one that answered my questions. And when the answers didn't make sense, he remained silent and gave me more of His Word. Little by little, I discovered that wisdom had nothing to do with everything poor Solomon tried to DO to be wise. That is why he had so many admonitions about wisdom. Because he was seeking too.

A youth director in my teen years called John 3, Ephesian 2:8&9, and Luke 11:9-13 "The Gospel in a Nutshell."  I don't know who originally coined the phrase, but I loved it when I heard it. These were the verses that finally led me to really being "saved."  You know, Jesus didn't say you must be "saved". He said. "You must be born again." I got over being mad at My Heavenly Father for saying I should believe in Jesus dying on the cross if I wanted to be in His family when I found this verse.  Thank you God for the word "again." God was asking me to be born into His family, and understand that it was happening to me. It was not that believing in Him was not enough like I was beginning to think. I had said to Him. "But God I already believe in you. Why am I not already saved? " After all the verse said: "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved." Acts 16:31. I believed the story, the cross and resurrection, all that. "Why am I not saved?" The real wisdom in all of my questioning was: the one thing I really did understand was that - I wasn't "saved" yet.

My friend went down to the altar at church, and the preacher was so proud of her and said she got saved, and they wrote down her name and address and everyone shook her hand. And I thought, I hope she got saved at home, cause going down there didn't get her saved. But I asked her anyway, what they told her that helped her get saved.  She said that they didn't say anything. She just prayed in her heart that God would help her do the right thing. So she went down to the altar. Oh NO. I knew that wouldn't do it for me. But I wondered every Sunday if I should go down there and try it out. Thankfully, I didn't go, until later when I knew I was "born again." By the way, my friend went back down to the altar next Sunday because she thought she might better get saved again. She was still seeking too. It didn't do it for her either.

     I was saved, gloriously saved, when one night after I finally understood that what God wanted was a deeper relationship with me. We weren't going to remain just best friends, and I wouldn't just call Him God my Heavenly Father because I had been raised hearing that he was my Heavenly Father. I finally understood that He always wanted to be my Heavenly Father, but it would be my decision to ask Him. And in so doing, I was asking to be born into His family. God would not force it on me. I had to want that and ask. (Tears of Joy, Tears of Joy, Tears of Joy.!!!!) Oh the sweet memory of that moment, one night in bed when I said, "Lord all I understand is that I want more than anything to be your child and be saved from my sins. I want your gift. I don't want to work on finding it anymore. Please save me. Please. ( or something like that). The still small voice seemed to whisper my name, and I could imagine a gift box, shiny and golden, almost glowing. It was coming toward me. He whispered take it. I took it and brought it so close that it disappeared into my heart. And the verses came back, "It is a gift of God." He had given me my gift almost visually, so I would never forget. I knew it meant that I was reborn into His family, now forever to be His child. Not just in name, but by his blood. I was his blood child. The gift was New Life. A fresh start. And all the things that I would later understand that meant. But that night, I didn't need to understand anything more than that it was so easy to just let God make you His child forever. You just needed to want to be His child and ask. In the morning I awoke to a new understanding, God had given me the gift of Salvation. The one big difference was His Spirit was in that box I took into my heart. The real gift of God is Himself. In order to be born into His family, I finally understood, that He would come into my heart, dwell with my being, become one with me, and never leave. His Spirit does not come and go, it is in me. Sometimes when He is quiet, I remind myself, He isn't out there in Heaven somewhere. He is here, inside me. If you don't believe that, check it out in your concordance. It's there. Go Seeking:)

"That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is Spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye Must Be Born Again."  St.Jn. 3:6-7.

"Love you, Love YOU, LOVE YOU, Jesus for making that possible for me. I am praying someone I know will receive the Gift of your spirit, and birth into the eternal family today." AMEN