We recently became aware of a gentleman's need to know how to make a positive change in his life,  to find a reason to believe in life itself.  A reader, who commented that he would be glad when life was over in order to solve the issues in his marriage, was feeling hopeless. He sounded as if he believed there was nothing he could do to bring change into his life that would make it worth living.  I have been there. I totally understand the desparation of feeling like a victim of your own life.  Prolonged dispair and dealing with the stress of it all begins to make bio-chemical changes in our actual body/mind functions. It can become dangerous to our physical health. It is possible to deplete vital chemicals and biological elements,which our minds need to function rationally. Just as a lack of vitamin C used to cause "Ricketts" in days gone by, before people understood the value of that vitamin, an onslaught of unexpected events, or a series of traumas, or years of unhappiness use up vital nutrients that keep us functioning with joy in our lives. Not being aware will cause an exhausted individual to have difficulty thinking their way through their struggle.
I am not a doctor, psychologist, or any other person who has a degree to explain these things. But you cannot live through a similar circumstance yourself without becoming educated on some level. Childhood traumas may set you up for not being able to deal with adult traumas. Add to that, the fact that we find ourselves drawn to others who also have lived in some kind of trauma, you will find two individuals who don't know how to live, and cannot help one another. This makes a shaky foundation for meeting lifes ordeals with strength.  Often an outside person is not just recommended, but is also critical to help walk us through the bad times. But that person must be healthy, and strong enough not to become what is called Co-dependant to you.  In addition, this person must not be someone who will jeopardize your marriage or relationship with your children, and most especially with God.  In other words they must not be someone who just slips into the empty slot which occurs when a relationship in your life goes sour. They must be someone who can come along side and help us refocus.  And they will direct us to medical help sometimes.
As I am writing this an image comes to mind of my poor flowers which have lost all thier blooms from the stress of having too much rain lately.  It is also too hot for a lot of them.  Struggling to survive, they quit sending nutrients to the blooms.  They fall away much more quickly than they might have, and they don't put on new buds until the stress is past.  All living things are like this. Some of my plants I have moved around trying to sheild them from the elements. But the silly thing is, I sometimes don't do the same kindness for myself.  There's an old saying that we should have sense enough to come in out of the rain. Sometimes the simplest choices are the hardest to make under stressful circumstances. It stands to reason that we lose our bloom when we are deep into life events that make us feel like we are drowning. Solution, get out of the rain.  God promises that he has a future for us.  Unlike the plant, we can make choices that move us into a better environment.  And that is vital for our health.  Our hope is in knowing God is on board with choices that move us out of the circumstances that are destroying us!
God's promise is a future with hope:
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

And also abundant life:
 John 10:10
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

He also says He will not give us more than we can endure:
1 Corinthians 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

And he asks us to choose life:
 Deuteronomy 30:19
I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.
We totally must choose to hang on these promises and realize that anything that seems otherwise is a lie of Satan.  He is doing everything he can to deceive you.  So it is up to you to choose...God's promises or Satan's lies.  Rebuke Satan. Jesus did. That's step one to open your eyes to God's truths. Ask, believe and receive the wholeness of God.

It's always good to realize that you are not alone in the desparation that life can bring you to. Historically, some great men of God have been where you are. Job is the most notorious Bible character, but consider this verse from the New Testament:
2 Corinthians 1:8
For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life: