I Haven't the faith...



My sister's symbol that God hears her
prayers is the presence of Geese.

When I was a little girl, my sister prayed for an ailment that had tormented me off and on for several years.  When I was about 8, my hands and feet broke out and cracked so badly that just walking or using my pencil for schoolwork resulted in oozing liquid that hardened and cracked, which led to bleeding, on my papers and in my socks.  My socks stuck to my feet, and made my shoes smell badly.  Teachers wanted me taken to the doctor over and over; even though I had been and every very painful thing they had tried to help it was to no avail.  The same teachers would not allow me to bow out of Phys Ed, so every squat thrust meant my shoes filled with blood, and hurt till I finally broke down in tears. Then walking home from school, which was exactly 3.14 miles when we measured it with the car, meant I could hardly take my shoes off my feet when I got home.  But by age 11 or 12, they had discovered it was a dying of nerve cells that caused my ailment, and one specific doctor who discovered this, also helped me to monitor my emotional state. He felt that if I could calm myself, when stressed that I could possibly avoid whatever chemical things were going on to make the cells die, and I could avoid the breakouts to some degree.  He was right.  So even when we had a wreck one time, my fingers and toes were breaking out before I could get home.  I did my routine to calm down, and drum up good things to thing about, and I would sing or paint, draw, something to get my mind off the stress, and by nightfall, the blisters had stopped popping up, and the attack was minimized.
But situations at my house, sometimes continued to be more stressful than all the techniques in the world would fend off, and my hands and feet would be so inflamed and itchy, oozing and bleeding, that nothing helped. It was on one of those nights that I couldn't sleep, because my hands itched so badly.  I made the mistake of rubbing one of my fingers and it made it worse.  The itching increased to a level that all I could do was rock back and forth in the bed. I awakened my sister, with whom I shared the bed, and she reached over and pulled my hands to where she could see them, and she just prayed that God would make my hands well.  Then she went and told Mama what misery I was in and that she had prayed for me. Knowing her, she probably asked Mama to pray too.  Mama brought ice I think, to numb the itching, and it worked enough that I could finally go off to sleep.

Next morning, there were no blisters, no cracks or oozing, no signs of cracks in the skin... Just new pink skin.  From that time on, I only had one more bad attack, and it was when I was dating my husband. I believe the Lord wanted him to know that I had this affliction, and that I would need to do what it took to actively control it.  Yet as an adult, my children have not seen it like when I was a child.  Later, when my brother was born, he also had the same problem, but to my knowledge his never got as bad as mine had.  The Lord chose not to heal me entirely, for it manifested in my mouth and throat at times during my working years, giving me cases of laryngitis that nothing would heal.  In fact, I was often a member of a choir, or asked to sing at church, and one of my most severe attacks of laryngitis, left me unable to sing for over a year. But I will never forget how my sister's prayer, brought me relief and healing by morning.
The Lord asks us to do to others, as we would have them do to us.  I have often wanted to pray for healing for someone and just see him or her become well overnight. Once, I prayed for Jimmy's Granny, and they sent her home in the morning.  I always hoped my prayers had been answered.

But lately, I am numb. I don't have the faith to believe someone could be healed on the basis of my prayers. So all I know how to pray is that the Holy Spirit will honor God's word, and bring healing for those who pray.  My sister's husband is dealing with lung cancer. She is believing for his healing so much so that she doesn't talk to anyone who speaks a word of doubt. It wasn't on my faith that I woke up that next morning with my hands all well. She isn't counting on it being my faith that will eventually mean that Larry is healed to whatever extent God will heal him. All I know how to pray is, "Lord do for her the same as you did when we were children. Nothing has changed. It is the same prayer.  Would that the Spirit utter for us the things we cannot, and just bring healing to her family, to recompense the good that she did for me."  And whoever, can pray with her believing, please do.  Cause I can only pray, "Honor her prayers today just as you did on that day, In Jesus Name. Amen."