A number of years ago I sat a while and tried to define peace for myself. What did peace of mind mean for me. I knew immediately that it was connected to security. Feeling safe in Jesus. And I thought of how as a child, for years after my salvation, no matter the turmoil in life, I felt so safe with Jesus. I also felt cared for. Like he was providing my every need. I fully expected it. I was content with what I had. But I often was delighted to have the most secret desires of my heart fulfilled, knowing only God knew what they were, and he provided them too. I knew that inner peace wasn't dependant upon outer peace. Oh my, no! I could have peace in spite of the the outer tumoil. And there was a lot of it, frankly. My childhood was rocky. But blessed. I certainly didn't have the same faddish clothing as the wealthier students at my school. But I sincerely didn't even notice much. Somethimes, they were all wearing the same thing, and I was different. I rather liked not getting on that wagon.
Once I had that mental image of child-like dependance upon God and being happy where I was, 'cause back then I smiled a lot, I remembered that, even then, I knew it was God's peace. I felt as if I were feeling the oneness with God's Spirit. It only took a few minutes to realize that it wasn't a list of things that gave me peace, but that connection with the Holy Spirit within me that gave me peace. It was more than that though. It is a spirit of submission to his working through me that gives me peace. Not a mindless submission to an overpowering controling manipulating dominance. It is easy to recognize now that I am older and have a few years of doing battle with that spirit to recognize ole Satan's kind of control. Instead, just the opposite happens if I relinquish to the Spirit of God. He opens my mind to think freely. He opens the doors, pulls down the walls, restores my joy, heals my brokenness, restores my energy, clears my head...and just plain gives me peace. Life expands, I can see the impossible as possible.
So once I had thought about it, I prayed that I could have that peace once more, as from a child-like point of view. No worries about this world and all the emotional turbulance that often comes with focusing there. I wanted the peace where you were not worrying over the what to's, what if's, whys, and how do I's of this world. The result is that God has renewed a sweet spirit within me. I have more tolerance, more sense of justice, and recognition of blessings. I find my joy in the laughter of my grandchild instead of attaining the next thing. It's funny how once we have jobs, we get stuck in finding joy in what to buy next. Not that we shouldn't buy things, or find joy there...it's just that I had lost that peace that frees me for the driven to achieve, aquire, and become kind of seeking that always put peace at arms length. Rather than my peace being out there somewhere, it is here within me.
Peace of mind, is not just a quietness in my mind, but a quietness in my soul. Not a quietness like silence, just a calmness that drinks in sustenance from the daily provision of an almighty, all knowing, all encompassing God. It allows me to let him deal with the tough stuff.
This week we have seen God do his mighty work on someone we love. His healing hand has made a miracle...hurray! And all we had to do was let him walk before us, and see what his grace would provide.
I have praise for him today... because I have recognized that once again he has given me the desire of my heart. Only he knew that I was asking for peace like when I was first saved...and only he could provide it. So I know the source of my peace, and I know the process he used to give it. Recognizing the presence of God and seeing that peace manifested in my life once more grieves me that I have not asked for it before now. I just allowed the heaviness of life draw my attention away from watching God live in my life as Jesus lived when he walked the earth in flesh.
Even Christ, when he prayed that agonizing prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane where his anxiety seemed to overwhelm him...was taking upon himself the anxiety of the world so that it might be dealt with. Even then he was doing battle with Satan and experiencing what we deal with when we go there. Jesus knew the outcome, and that he would win the battle. Even he stood firmly on the promises of his Father, and allowed the Father to go before him to prepare the way.
Even the cross was what Satan presumed he would use to persuade men, that he has power in this world. That is why I really love the ressurection cross, because I don't look just to the cross for my peace, but I look to the ressurection to where Satan was defeated, for my peace. I am empowered by knowing Jesus gave to us the power of the Spirit that carried him through those dark hours in his life. When all the people around Christ thought that their savoir was lost to the power of an evil world, the ressurection was proof that nothing stands in the way of God's ability to provided life and that more abundantly.. It renewed their hope immediately.
Praising the God of my peace! Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world! AMEN
