When trials and frustrations erupt into our lives like explosions, I find that 90% of our stress is created by miscommunication, or misunderstanding. Our reactions to the stress usually indicate the status of our the weariness of our body, mind and soul. And our ability to trust God to take care of things. Feelings of insecurity develop after we lose loved ones, and endure losses of life's status quo.  Our bodies and minds reel even in the face of newness.
In recent months I have had to replace simple things which broke or were simply so old as to not function.  When our refigerator sprang a leak the other day, it was only a small part that needed fixing, and I found myself, saying thank you Lord that we didn't have to buy a new fridge, because in the back of my mind I was thinking how I didn't want to have to learn to use another simple appliance that somebody made technical.  For at least 3 days, my mind tried to reject the phone I had to get to replace the one I had. After being strapped for so long, it seems everything is wearing out at once. If I dwelt on the loss I would not have remedy for the confusion.  Allowing that the Lord is helping to make things new, I am thankful, but the newness leaves me stumbling to catch up with the technologies, or just how to use the new.
Even with a fresh start, I feel uneasy.  Yet this year, I have found something wonderful in how I trust the Lord.  I cannot put it into words or I would help everyone understand, for the difference it has made in my life. I do know that I claim the Lord's promises with greater peace of mind, and am more secure than in years of His work and power in my life. He is actively partnering with me to make the words of his Book of Truth function as He said they would. Not that he hasn't in the past, but that each day I see His work in my life and I hear his still small voice in spite of the din of things that might otherwise capture my attention before I seek his face.  Now I find that as the stress rises, I find myself first going to his principles to pray a quick and simple prayer based on promises to ask the Lord to intervene.  I wish to praise Him, for honoring his Word.  A life based on the freedom he gave us, and claiming His truth for every circumstance in life to guide my steps and focus my choices is definitely making a difference. In other words, I am learning to get the knowlege in my head into a routine of application to my heart's condition, and the steps of my walk.  And it is truly bringing me the peace He promised.  I have no resolutions for the new year, except to know more of what the Lord has given me in this year. I don't want to become a God Freak.... I want to become more of what God created me to be, as his child, secure in His love and be able to share that peace with someone who needs it.
Lord, be my constant guide, and light my candle anew each and every day. I wish to thank you for the access to your Word, and for the results that honoring and applying the promises in it is making in my walk. Thanks for loving me and being my constant friend. AMEN

Covering The Flaws

In my last post on Gethsemane, I mentioned that I had left fingerprints from pastels on one art piece that I transferred by accident to another.  I also said that it was easy enough to paint over the flaws, and because I now have the clear sleeves to permantly cover the pages, the art would be protected in the future. As I read it back this morning, because I hadn't proof read it well when I placed it, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, "that's like what the Father does with your sin. (flaws)" The picture was so clear...God considers the smudge as no problem, 'cause He just considers it covered by the blood, and I am totally protected, lovingly placed into his sleeve of protection. I am His work of art, contantly in process of becoming more lovely in His sight. As He sees fit to work on me. Before the finished work of Jesus, I was exposed to fingerprints and smudges, but since Jesus work, I am in his sleeve of protection. Thank you Holy Spirit. Merry Christmas!

Gifts from God

The sweetest gifts that we receive to me are the ones someone gives in response to God's bidding.  Sometimes people don't even know when they have given a gift from God, they just do something nice. But God knows our hearts desires, and he often uses people to give those desires to us as gifts.
Two such gifts stand out in my mind this year, and they are the kind of thing, no one else would rejoice over, but they are just more proof to me that a real and loving God exists.
When I began to paint again, I started using some art paper that was stored in a closet. I did a couple of pieces with pastels and they were stacked together.  I wisely placed tissue between them, but when I handled them without the tissue, I got finger prints on one of my unfinished paintings.  Glad that I could paint over the flaws, I still began to wish I could get plastic sleeves for my work like I see covering things at festival markets and art sales.  But I would have to buy a whole case and that seemed frivilous.  So I kept an eye out for items that came into my home with plastic wrapping and began to put it between or over just a few pieces of my work.  I quietly just longed for the real thing.
Then one day, my husband came in with a box of what he was afraid I might call junk. He hesitantly asked if I could use the contents, or should he just throw it away.  I complain about some of the stuff he brings in, for I fear we could become hoarders if we took in everything he could bring. But I checked out the box contents and it was plastic sleeves normally used for something else, yet were the perfect size for my art paper! My husband didn't know I wanted them, but he brought them home to see.  God arranged that if someone else didn't need them, they could belong to me, in answer to the desire of my heart. To me it was like a gift from God, because he was the only one who knew how much I wanted, needed them to protect my work.
My Christmas present from Jesus this year, is a roll of brown paper.  I have looked lately for brown paper in a roll in a couple of big box stores, and had resolved almost to break down and buy white butcher paper instead. And I still may for other projects. But the art that has been rolling around in my head is on brown paper.  There is just something about the natural look of some things done on brown paper.  I haven't been able to find it, and like so many other things, I don't mention it to my family.  So once again it was just a silly wish tucked in the confines of my heart.  I feel guilty when I want more art supplies, because I actually have been blessed with a number of things, I just don't have time to use. But, I have jotted notes and stored them about things I would like to do with brown paper for years.  It is a perfect medium for kids, and has and interesting look when printed on.  It accepts stencil art well, and it sturdy and useful when complete.  It isn't just something to hang on a wall and look at. Brown paper art can be used. 
When my husband walked in the door a few days ago with a nice almost full roll of heavy weight brown paper that someone had tossed, I almost fell over. I felt of it, and it wasn't slick like some rolls of paper. It had a unique texture. When I told Jimmy I had been looking for paper like that, he gave me the oddest look. But in my heart I was jumping for joy! Once again, Jesus saw fit to give me the desires of my heart for Christmas.  Such a silly thing to someone else means the world to me.  Not because it is a thing...but because Jesus was the only one who knew I wanted it. And he gave it to me...and twice he used my husband as the one I can praise for listening to the voice of God, and giving of himself to bring it.

Thank you, Lord for my gifts and for using my husband to bring them. Merry Christmas Jesus!

The last year we make them...

This will be the last year I will make flower arrangements as gifts for my husbands work family.  It began over 10 years ago that we needed gifts for them, that Jimmy took a craft arrangement from our "shop" days, to use as inspiration for something to make that they would enjoy at Christmas.  He piled tiny hemlock pine cones in a small round vase, and decorated it for Christmas. Each year thereafter, the gift evolved into whatever we could afford that year, and one year, I remember that we made about 40 of them.  Most years we made between 20 and 30 of them, but that is a lot of gifts to make yourself, and the budget had been the same most years. They had to cost under $5 in actual money.  One year we were able to spend only $2.45, when that was actually a struggle to come up with.  But with the blessings from God we made something nice each time. 
So it is that time of year again, and yesterday as we started our search for materials to put in the cute ceramic dish we already bought, we became frustrated at the poor quality of the Christmas trees whose greenery is ususally the base for our arrangement.  Last year the tips on the tree's limbs were so beautiful!  This year the pruning process had made most of the trees full, but with tiny little tips that were not useful for my purpose.  After making the rounds to all the ususal sellers, we had almost given up hope.  The trees were almost sold out at every place, and what was left would be expensive to use for our purpose. The budget would be blown before we even got started.  A little in fear of what we were going to do, I just asked the Lord what we should do.
Then I remembered the small stands along the road where I had seen local individuals who had purchased a few trees themselves and were selling them. Driving by, I had noticed how beautiful they were this year!  So Jimmy cut through the back road and as we approached the first stand the sun was setting in the cloudy skies.  There were no lights and we thought that the stand owner had gone home.  But as we pulled in, there he sat in his truck.
Jimmy called to him to know if he was leaving. He said he always stayed til a little after dark, and was just trying to stay warm. He allowed us to look as the darkness was threatening to make it impossible soon.  He said, this was the last of the stock, and if we could pick one we liked, he would reduce the price a bit. Jimmy explained what we needed it for, and that the tree itself didn't need to be pretty shaped, just have good tips on the limbs.  So instead of trying to sell us a tree, he said.  If you prefer, I have a pile of cuttings that you can have.  Of course I will sell you a tree, but if there is enough, you can take all you want.
Now, the stores will give you the cuttings, if you buy a tree, but otherwise they will only sell the cuttings to you. When he led us back to the trimming, the pile was large and he even offered to cut the branches off the trunk stumps for easier hauling.  It was quickly getting dark and still this man offered in a spirit of kindness. 
Well, we bought  tree anyway, and took the cuttings we were able to get into our vehicle, and he gave us a great price, so we gave him a bit more. Jimmy insisted, because we had just saved money and gotten much more than we would have.  The man told us of how last year he had just unloaded his trees, when he fell from his truck and broke his wrist. His trees had gone to a near total loss because he had no one to tend the store while he was in the hospital.  This year, he said they had made a little profit and had these trees yet to sell.  What a joy that the Lord had frustrated our search in the stores so that we could be a part of His blessing this man who was so kind and generous.
I couldn't help but think, that this was like living a real Christmas movie.  It was what I felt Christmas was really about.  I was sad that the previous year there had been no one who was free to help this man sell his trees. I hoped that even this one small act from one small businessman was an inication that our nation could get its heart back in place and become the America that knew what really made good business sense, and bring customers back.
I was almost sad that we would not be making these arrangements as gifts next year, for I knew where our first stop for a tree would be.
I pray God blesses this man today.  And I thank God for helping me know there are still people in this world who can still remember what Christmas spirit is about.

A good year to celebrate Christmas

Yesterday was the day I scheduled to decorate my Christmas Tree. Heather helped me with the lights, what a blessing, but like every other year, as I put the last three sets of a different kind of lights on, all of one of the earlier sets went out. I jiggled bulbs, but no luck. So I decided to just not care whether they worked or not. I was going to enjoy putting on the decorations.
My pitiful fake birds have lost feathers, but I never enjoyed putting them on the tree so much. For while I twisted their wires on the limbs, there were birds feeding from the pear trees in the yard that are encombered with fruit this year.  I thought, thank you, Lord for the joy of being able to see the real birds while I am working.
As I hung the pears and apples, that are brushed with gold paint to imply guilding, I thought of the fruits of the Spirit, God's gifts to us. I wondered why I hadn't thought of these things when I decorated the tree before.  I recalled how last year, I saw a sign which mocked lights as a part of Christmas and I thought, "I wonder what Bible they read? Jesus said he was the light of the world. There was a bright and shining star that led the Magi to his home as a baby.  The shepherds were astonished by a light so bright they could hardly look up when the angels came to herald the baby's birth. The psalmist said: Arise, shine, for the light is come - Psalm 101, I think. Who doesn't know that the birth of Jesus was all about shedding light on this world?
 I came to the new glass ball ornaments I bought on impulse a couple of years ago, which had Bethlehem, the Maji and Mary and Joseph aproaching on donkeys. It seemed so good to have something to put on the tree that so deliberately referenced why Christmas means so much to me. It warmed my heart as I placed each one so it could be seen. I wondered if there might be more ornaments out there somewhere that would glorify my savoir.
I pulled a tiny little ornament out that a friend had made me years ago.  I smiled as I thought of how much her ornament meant to me, as much as any on the tree. She would recognize almost all of the ones that were dressy on my tree, for she was there when I bought them many years ago.  I thought of her and wondered if she was having difficulty celebrating Christmas this year because her mother had passed away. The tiny dried roses fell awayfrom the tiny hand made ornament, after all these years. It seemed almost appropriate that they would. I knew I had to replace them, but this year I hung it just as it was, as I prayed for her. I hoped she would not be in a funk, knowing how much she and her mother  shared in the making of gifts.
I placed my tiny angel atop the tree and was glad she lit.  She has always lit. Every year, dependable. I had forgotten some of the ornaments and I realized just how long it had been that I did this and really loved it. It was the way I had always dreamed decorating the Christmas tree would be. I had anticipated doing it all week, had not let the lights frustrate me, did it patiently - and voila.
I had spent a lovely afternoon with the Lord, praying and loving the memories, good memories...and when it was done, the Lord gave me an unexpected gift. I stepped back and there it was, doubled.  There were two trees before me. The large mirror on the side wall reflected the whole tree and doubled the light and sparkle of the original tree. How lovely...
This was the first year I had put the tree up in the front of the house. I usually wanted it to be in the den. I felt a little selfish, because no one else but we could see it. Since putting it in the front room, I have wanted to spend more time there, and it is truly beautiful reflected in the mirror. Plus as my friends and neighbors come in they can enjoy it too. My closest friends have made a point to say they are enjoying it from the road. Who knew that a simple act of placing what you enjoy in a place where others can benefit would bring blessings to them.
My next door neighbor who knew how much I had wanted to decorate just once while mother was alive, listened as I said how I wished she were here and in her right mind. And she said, "why your mother's wishing you could see hers this year, cause it outshines yours 10 to 1."  We both laughed as I realized that she was right. I would far rather my mother was runing on the streets of gold as to be sitting in a wheel chair grumbling about how long it took me to trim my tree.
Yes this is a good year to celebrate Christmas. 
I , my husband and my friend all miss our mothers.  My neighbors grandbaby just went to join them.  Just as I finished the tree, I hurried to go cook something to carry along with another neighbor to our friend whose grand daughter had passed, and I thought. I can't ask for a better Christmas. WE are living in a loving, giving sharing place in this world.  I am thankful, that Christmas gives us a reason to be united by good things, even in the presence of sad things.  I am so glad a God sent his Son that we can have a common bond, a reason and purpose for living each day of our lives. I am so glad we live in a country where we can celebrate with lights and decorations and friends. We can talk of Jesus and Heaven and Bible..
Yes this is a good year to celebrate Christmas.

Lord, thank you for this.   AMEN